book report: her fearful symmetry

to say the least, this book is ABSOLUTLY TERRIBLE... and it's disgusting that niffenegger was given a $5million advance to write it. i am throughly disappointed, as The Time Travelers Wife is one of my very favorites.

where do I even begin with this one? the characters? flat... dull... nothing to really make them stand out from one another. even the voices of the american characters are wrttien with british spelling and slang. and- there were WAT to many of them... that niffenegger dwells on... that really have NOTHING to contribute to the "story"- if you can even find the actual story amonst all the dribble. had i turned something like this into any of my writing professors, i'm fairly certain i would have been reemed out and sent back to the drawing board.

i should have just put this one down halfway through and let it go, but i was so sure that it would be worth it in the end. i remember it taking me awhile to "get into" Time Travelers Wife, and i just assumed it would be the same deal with Symmentry. nope. it's not. this books is DULL DULL DULL- DULL AND POINTLESS AND WEIRD AND SCATTERED from start to finish. shall i continue?

what i find to be most disappointing, is that the book had serious potential. the characters could have been great, the story was incredibly unique and COULD HAVE BEEN fascinating... but, i got the sense that niffenegger wasn't even trying. it was as if she'd gotten her money, carlessly and thoughtlessly puked out a few hundred pages, and was done.

to spare you all from a completely angsty rant- i will leave at the fact that this book is so hurried and terrible and "unfinished" that i am nothing short of EMBARESSED for both the writer AND the publisher, for allowing this monstorsity to hit the shelves and tricking readers into thinking they're about to get into something great.

don't bother. seriusly.

oops...

hmm... i haven't posted anything in quite awhile, have i. i even seem to have lost a handful of readers... oops. sorry kids, i didn't mean to be a bore. i guess i've just been busy!

i started my new job two weeks ago... and... I. LOVE. IT. the job itself is nothing terribly fascinating, but the people are AWESOME, and i've whole-heartidly decided that for me, who you work with is SO much more important than what you're doing. my mood has done a complete 180. instead of coming home angsty and irratable, i come home in relativly high spirits... even the husband noticed, and, who are we kidding... he doesn't notice much. i love him, but it's true :)

so, with the new job, i've been busy learning how to do new things all day, and haven't really had the oppertunity to get online (which, i can do! i have the internets back! wohoo!). i guess that's my excuse for neglecting the blog world? yes... yes, that is my excuse.

ANYWAYS... i had a wonderful thanksgiving! we spend it w/ husband's family, and what can i say, i love 'em. i really did luck out on the inlaws- and no, i'm not just saying that because a few of them read this thing. i think we did a thorough job offending grandma with our hilariously inappropriate dinner conversation and had i not been wearing a ridiculously comfy skirt (elastic waistband!) i would have definitly joined in on the after dinner sweatpants.

i hope everyone else had a fab holiday, survived black friday (if you are INSANE enough to go out there- i am not) and i wish you all a good weekend!

i'm so in love w/ this lovely girl...

....and this song i particular:

Lykke Li: "Tonight"


yes, i am most certianly in love with this girl. haunting, isn't it?

my day:

• wake up
• skip shower... i'm never seeing these degenerates again, who cares if i'm offensive.
• make coffee
• put on cute outfit
• put on different cute outfit
• boots or flats? 10 minute decision.
• leave for work
• drive to work
• get to work 10 min late
• drink coffee and catch up on dailykos
• drink coffee and catch up on blogs
• drink coffee and stare mindless at computer
• put on lipgloss
• wipe off lipgloss... put on different lipgloss
• wipe off lipgloss... put on different lipgloss... again
• facebook
• lunch!
• go to mall at lunch
• buy out barnes & noble
• buy out gap
• buy out victoria's secret
• buy lunch
• bring lunch back to work to eat.. as lunch hour is now over
• eat lunch and catch up on dailykos
• eat lunch and catch up on blogs
• facebook
• google john cusack
• google myself
• google funny cat pictures
• google my husband
• put on lipgloss
• wipe off lipgloss.. put on different lipgloss
• wipe off lipgloss... decide on balm instead
• look at overflowing inbox
• look at empty outbox
• contemplate just going home
• shurg... and decide to post shitty blog

can you tell how productive my last has been? whoops.

lolsaurus.

i think this might be the saddest little batman i've ever seen:

the scene: me, on the couch.... slightly liquored up and watching private practice (ugh). a baby is born, the mom dies, i cry... grab a cat, cradle it, and walk over husband in his "office", while he's up to his eyes in a midterm paper.

me: chloe feels like a baby.
husband: she's a cat.
me: i know, but she feels like a baby. i want a baby.
husband: no you don't.
me: maybe i do...
husband: no... you don't.
me: i think my clock started ticking.
husband: *looks at me and rolls his eyes* go tick on the couch.

and that... is why i love my husband.

yaaaaaawn

i am having the most worthless day i've had in a LONG time, which is really saying something b/c i have a lot of worthless days. i don't think i've really done any actual "work"... i've mostly just been sitting here and fucking around with my ipod. i think i can blame it all on my "i hate this job and it's my third to last day so why bother? i mean, what are they going to do... fire me??" attitude.

but now my ipod's died... my phone is about to die... i've already taken way too many "bathroom breaks" and i'm sooooo ready to just get up and walk out the door and never look back. damn me for believing in karma!

i hope everyone is having a MUCH more productive wednesday than my sorry ass........

yay me! OR- apparently my lazy ass is super employable.

so... remember how much i hate/dispise/dislike (etc.) my job? to the point that i really don't give two shits about what i do and secretly (or not so secretly) hope to get fired (did i mention my supberb work ethic)? well... those days are headed out the door!

no, i did not get fired.

i got a new job!! it's actually a job that i had been interviewing for back in august... they hired someone else... that someone else apparently blew, and they came groveling back to me. okay, so there was no groveling, but i like to feel important enough that there could have been a little groveling.

i'm starting on monday (screw two weeks notice) and even if this job blows a little... there is no way in hell it could blow as much as my current daily dose of crap.

although... i will miss the green eyeshadow and man ponchos, they do make for some great blogging.

YAY ME!

things that make you go "hmmmmm..."

so, i just got really happy and geekily excited when i reaized i had 50 followers! then... about 3 seconds later, i realzied that my 50th follower was... myself. how did i start following my own blog? i mean, i love myself to the point that it would make sense.... but, how?? can i become my own friend on facebook too?

honest [s]crap.

yay! V, my delightfully sassy cousin-in-law and favorite blogger, has tagged me to do the honest scrap survey! i've done it before.... but, as mentioned in my previous post, i love talking about myself so i'm down to do it again.

the rules:

• post 10 things about yourself that not many people would know. (okay, but this will be kind of hard since i'm pretty open and there's not a lot i keep to myself.)


• tag some other people. (i don't really feel like tagging other people, so i'll just talk about myself. thanks.)

1. i'm a perv... and i find there to be nothing more hilarious than crude humor and sex talk. when my bff and i get together, i think we might be really offensive. want an example? head on over to youtube and search for "john lajoie- show me your genitals" (part 1 AND 2- i'd post the video, but i'm at work... and, that just seems wrong). now, imagine the two of us singing this song, word for word, with some really sweet dance moves...in the middle of a crowded bar, or even a not so crowded bar... or even if we are the only two in said bar. i'm laughing just thinking about it. but, i can flip the switch like THAT, and come off as the most prude-ish and polite little lady you could ever meet.

2. i'm a music snob. i WILL judge you based on your musical preferences. i refuse to listen to the radio-- manufactured top40 bubblegum pop? no thanks. i prefer actual talent and hot beats. there are few things more exciting to me than discovering an amazing new group and loving the shit out of them.

3. i have a sharp tongue.... and i frequently forget to think before opening my mouth. which is kind of funny, because a lot of people think i'm reserved and painfully shy- which, usually just means i just don't like you. sometimes it works out alright, sometimes it doesn't. but, at least you can rest assured that my opinions are honest and i'll never tell you that you look good if you, in fact, look like a giant pile of decroded crap.

4. sometimes i feel like my husband and i have practially nothing in common. and, to be honest, i like it that way... and i'm positive he feels the same. it allows us to have our own independent lives and friends and interests, but we still have each other. if that makes sense... kind of like checks and balances. i think the worst thing a couple can do for their relationship is to spend too much time together. never allow yourself to be lost just because you've met that amazing person! trust me... they will thank you for it.

5. i LOVE altoids. sometimes (okay, always) i eat them like they're a snack food... it's probably not healthy. but, at least my breath is always fresh?

6. i can count my best friends on one hand. actually, it's probably more like half a hand. i don't especially like meeting new people and it takes me a long time to warm up to someone. i don't tolerate bullshit... and i can see right through a fake smile. this is also probably way half of my aquaintences (note the word "aquaintence") are men. my best friends mean the world to me, and i go out of my way to show them that every day.

7. i fucking hate thongs. i can't say i even own one. there is nothing LESS sexy than a string shoved up your crack. besides, unless you're an airbrushed victoria's secret swimsuit model, you don't have the ass to pull it off... follow my lead, spare yourself the shame, and cover that shizz up.

8. web md has me CONVINCED i'm developing multiple sclerosis. fuck you, web md.

9. if you haven't noticed, fuck is my favorite word. nothing gets your point across like tacking a "fuck" on the end. my second favorite word is cunt. can you tell i'm loosing interest in this post?

10. i love bumper stickers. actually, let me rephrase that: i love OTHER PEOPLE'S bumper stickers, as i also find them tacky and would never put one on my car. madison is full of great bumper stickers. to date, my favorite read, "draft SUV drivers first". that one got a real LOL out of me. i may or may not have taken a picture. a great bumper sticker in front of you can totally make traffic more tolerable. okay, not really... but that was me being optimisitc.

and.... there you have it. ten things about me that you probably already knew, or never really cared about knowing. i guess this means it's time for me to get back to work... er, actually start doing some work. whoops...

swoon.

my plan was to make my 101st post into something notable, but... i then realized i had nothing terribly notable to post about. so, instead, i will just show you something (out of MANY things) i WANT. deal with it.

Dior "oui" necklace- it only runs a cool $1,125... but, a girl can dream... right?

also... V (over at *uncorked- whose blog you SHOULD be reading, if you aren't already) tagged me to do the "honest scrap survey"! i've done it before... but, who are we kidding, i LOVE talking about myself, and whatever way to do it? i figured i'd save that little gem for tomorrow, so i'm sure to have something to help me pass the time at my damn job.

i can't handle it.

today... while eating my cupcake lunch, in the office break room, a man came in... wearing a poncho. let me repeat that for you, a MAN came into the breakroom wearing a PONCO. a PONCHO. on a MAN. did i mention that this MAN was wearing this PONCHO over a dress shirt? like... a crochet sweater poncho.

someone complimented him. he responded that he liked how well the PONCHO and dress shirt matched.

at that point, for fear of choking on my cupcake... i had to get up and vacate the premesis.

(also- and this has absolutly nothing to do with this post, but i don't feel like creating a whole new post... but, i absolutly HATE it when co-workers send emails that are grammatically incorrect and full of spelling/punctuation errors. i know i'm really bad at all that here (hell, i don't even use capitals- ha), on my blog, but i am meticulous when it comes to work emails. i don't care if it's just a quick note- get it right. if you don't, you just come across as an unprofessional idiot. i just received an email, that should have been about 5 or 6 sentences- but, instead it was just one long stream of words. SO IRRATATING. use a damn period! then again... these people do wear green eyeshadow and ponchos....)

*** UMM ALSO... THIS IS MY 100TH POST!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I WASTED IT ON PONCHOMAN AND WORK EMAILS........ DAMN. I'LL MAKE SURE #101 IS A WINNER. ***

heros in a half shell?

i think my boss offically thinks i'm legally insane. there was the time where i accidently emailed her about my paris hilton dance party... and just now, she caught me googling "sexy ninja turtle". please don't ask- we're already in preparation mode for next halloween.

on top of that- i went to see one of my friend's band play last night... didn't get home until the wee hours of the morning... and i'm wearing last nights makeup with a lovely hangover...

at least it's friday?

i hate hair.

currently, my hair is an EXTREMELY shaggy/awful/grown out version of this:

but, i think i want it to look like this (but blonde, obvi):

so now... the question is do i go the easy route, and get my hair cut back to how it was (which i like)- even though everyone and their fucking mother (including MY mother) has that haircut? OR- do i put myself through the long and painful process of growing it out? which would be sweet and worth it in the end, but probably means being forced to suffer through a few awful looking styles to get it there. PLEASE... your thoughts.

srsly??

i *think* i've mentioned on here before that my current office is one EPIC epidsode of "what not to wear". when i look at 98% of the people around me... i am shocked and appalled. it's like 1985 meets a trailer park meets walmart.

today it has reached a new level.

i have officially discovered who buys tinkerbell green eye shadow... and proceeds to wear it, smeared up to their eyebrow, NOT ON HALLWEEN. yep, that's right... one of my co-workers. don't worry, at least it's matched to her tinkerbell green shirt.

fail. fail. FAIL!

where are stacy and clinton when i need them?

old navy?

today, over my lunch break, i decided to make a quick trip to old navy. they're my "go to" for cheapo tshirts and tanks (i'm sorry, but i refuse to spend more than $10 on a damn tshirt... okay, unless it's REEEAAAALLLYYYYY cute and more than just plain cotton), and they were having a special with longsleeve t's for $7. i was planning to run in, scoop up as many t's as i could find- in my size and monochromatic wardrobe color pallate, and get out of there. i really wasn't expecting to venture much futher into the store than that first tshirt table... but, i did... and i was shocked! THEY HAVE CUTE STUFF! i feel like, ordinarly, when i browse their racks... everything looks cheap and poorly made, and rarely fits well. apparently not anymore? apparently they're stepping up their game? i like it.

so, in addition to my 800 tshirts, i walked away with these lovely little finds... and only the coat was over $30!:

there were a few other gems that caught my eye, and i could have easily added them to my pile, i figured i should draw the line somewhere..... but seriously, what's better then a load full of shopping bargains on a day when you accidently woke up 5:30am?

did i ever mention that i'm blonde?

i will give you THREE guesses as to who didn't reset her alarm last night, and therefore woke up at 5:30 this morning..... uuggghhhhh.