dear abby.

last week i wrote a letter to "dear abby". i am an avid reader of hers... everyone's problems always seem so much more immediate than mine. but- on this particular day... i was PISSED. no other word... pissed. sick of it. pissed.

what?

my weight.

my letter went something like ths:

dear abby,

i'm writing to you, not so much for advice, as i am to inform your readers.

i recently started a new job, and already, i've caught co-workers, people who don't even know me, gossiping about my weight. this is something i've been dealing my entire life. for the record- i'm 5'6 and weigh about 110 (give or take a few) pounds.

i am not unhealthy. i do not starve myself. i love food- and if i choose, i could eat the average person under the table. however. i see my doctor regularly. i am blessed with my mother's family's amazing genes. i eat healthfully, and maintain a healthy lifestye. let me repeat- i. do. NOT. starve. myself.

yet- people always jump to the conclusion that i DO starve myself. i simply must be anorexic. there is no other explanation for my frame.

i unstand that i am not built like the "average" american woman. yet, i can not tell you how many times i have had perfect strangers come up to me and comment on how thin i am- that clearly i need to eat more- "go eat a sandwhich".

it is hurtful.

just as it is unacceptable to go up to a complete stranger and call them fat, it is unacceptable to go up to someone and call them too thin. one's weight is one's own business. you don't know that person's history. if they ARE sick, if you are a stranger, it does them no good to call them out on their problems. if they aren't, you're doing just as much harm.

like i mentioned before, weight is a very touchy and personal subject for just about everyone. i am healthy. i am tired of being assumed sick. please remind your readers that comments on ANYONES weight are downright rude and simply unacceptable.

sincerely,
skinny in wisconsin.

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dear abby has not yet published my letter. however, while reading her column today, i cam across a very simliar letter. this particular writer IS sick, but the message is all the same. please read:

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DEAR ABBY: I am extremely thin and have struggled for years with eating disorders and an unhealthy relationship with food. It's difficult for me to go out with family and friends because everyone watches me -- from what I order to how much I consume -- and comments on it. If they decide I haven't eaten enough, they make hurtful comments about my weight.

What I need people to understand is that it is just as hurtful to make fun of someone who is thin by calling him names such as "Stick" or "Bean Pole" as it is to mock a fat person.

Some of us are thin because we are ill, whether it is physically or emotionally. Making fun of us is tasteless, hurtful and unhelpful. -- ROBERT IN N.Y.C.

DEAR ROBERT: I'm glad you wrote, because your letter provides me with the opening to remind my readers that joking about someone's appearance isn't clever or funny. It's cruel. While the target may take those comments with apparent good humor, no one likes to be ridiculed. And frankly, when it happens, it demeans the speaker more than the person at which it is aimed.

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i relate to this reader. even though i am NOT sick, i still struggle with many of the same problems. when i go out to eat, people notice what i order and how much i consume. when people have decided i haven't eaten enough, for their tastes, they have no qualms about making their thoughts known.

i don't really know where i am going with this... but, i only hope that people will be able to see that just because i am thin, and people like me are thin, that we are not SICK. we are fine. we are healthy. PLEASE- don't treat us as if we are the oppisite.