....okay, so it's not really a confession... at all. as, anyone that knows me well, already knows this. but, i am TERRIFIED of driving on the freeway. call me lame... call me a baby... call me whatever you like, i don't care. i chalk it up to about four years ago, when my anxiety was absolutly out of control, and i had a few awful awful panic attacks that almost resulted in me passing out and driving off the road. of course, anybody who has panic attacks knows, that i was not *actually* about to pass out... but, try telling yourself that when you're in the midst of it. impossible.
prior to moving to madison, i could EASILY weasle out of having to get on the freeway. where we lived in illinois, it made more sense for me to take the back roads, to get to my parents in milwaukee, than it did to take the freeway. a.) we lived so far west of chicago, that it would take just as long to hike back east, as it would to just hike east once in wisconsin and b.) chicago traffic is so ridiculous and unpredictable that when i did take the freeway, it ended up taking just as long/if not longer, b/c of all the time i'd spend sitting in a glorified parking lot.
now that we are in madison... there is absolutly positivly no good way to get to milwaukee, aside from hopping on the freeway- which is really a straight shot and only takes about an hour. i have mapquested just about every alternate route there is... all of which would take me twice as long and would probably end with me getting lost in hicksville usa, and panicking over that, instead.
long story short, on friday... straight from work (since i basically work on top of the freeway) i am going to try and be brave and drive myself to milwaukee. no big deal, right? then why am i already starting to FREAK OUT!!?? i don't know what it is... i LOVE driving as fast as a i can get away with, i'm a surprisingly aggressive driver, and it's only an hour of my life.... but, no matter what i do, my mind is being a little shit about it. does anybody else have this problem?? and... if so, how do you deal with it?? i seriously can't be the only whackjob out there.....
the only solution i've thought of, thus far, is to try a book on tape... maybe if i have a story to get absorbed in, i won't focus on my irrational anxiety?? or- maybe it's high time i buck up and get MEDICATED.
This reminds me of my irrational anxiety towards public transportation. It starts a week before I know I have to take it. I meticulously plan my routes via the CTA website and if it requires a transfer to a different el line or taking a bus or walking more than a mile from the closest stop, I take a cab. I can't handle it. Try a book on tape, I used to listen to them when I had to drive an hour or so each way for work. I especially recommend finding one read by someone with a British accent because then all day you start to think with an accent. It makes life more fun. Or...meds. But narcotics and driving almost killed me the other day, so try the book on tape. Or get a limo.
ReplyDeleteTry classical music...
ReplyDeleteI used to be like this too because I had a bad experience on the freeway on my way to collage. I won't tell you what happened though, haha. You just have to do it, stay in the slow lane the whole way if you want. Let people pass you. Listen to good music.
ReplyDeleteNow, I dry the freeway to work everyday and I don't think twice about it! It's like a normal road now. Good luck!
Once upon a time I changed my entire outfit, right down to underwear and socks, while driving I-90 into the city. (Yes, some lucky commuters got a show.) I didn't die bareassed or braless, so odds are you will be completely fine keeping both hands on the wheel and listening to a nice relaxing book on tape.
ReplyDeleteWho knows, maybe this is the push you need to get over your freeway fears once and for all!
thank you for all the encouraging words!! i'm still absolutly petrified... but, at least i have a date with barnes & noble tomorrow, to try and find something mindlessly entertaining to listen too. i'm thinking about new moon.... since, i just finished fucking twilight. v, would you judge me terribly? prob.
ReplyDeleteAh I have the same phobia! If I absolutely HAVE to take the freeway, I could do it no problem. I just avoid it when possible.
ReplyDeleteI recently experienced the drive from Green Bay to Milwaukee...man was it boring. I have taken many road trips in my day and none have been quite as long as that 2 hour drive. If I were you I would be freaking out that I might go insane. While driving you can just picture me slowly losing my mind.:)
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